


Always Waiting For You

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Conflicted Poe Dameron, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fix-It, Good Kylo Ren, Hand Jobs, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Resistance Member Kylo Ren, Some hurt/comfort, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Supreme Leader Armitage Hux, sort of spoilers re: Hux?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: What if Hux chose a different route to get rid of Kylo? Kylo may have lost his position of Supreme Leader, but coming to the Resistance, he finds more.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29
Collections: The_Multishipper_Post_TROS_Happy_Place_Collection, Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Always Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Rivals Working Together
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

_This is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea._  
  
That was something along the lines of what Kylo Ren was thinking even as he walked into the clear, sunny forest. A forest that seemed far too sunny, far too bright actually. It was one of those instances where Kylo swore that he would perhaps burn under the strength of the light shining down on him, filtering down. He couldn’t say why he was doing this, aside from the fact that Hux (the traitor) had ousted him from his position. A position that was more his right than Hux’s, a position where he could have truly made things right.   
  
And maybe that fragment in his mind that was his father...maybe that had something to do with it too. Maybe. It seemed that even after all he’d done, his father was here to guide him, and that was more than he deserved, really.   
  
So much more than he deserved.   
  
Footsteps. Kylo could all but feel how soft they were on the ground, almost inaudible at first. Kylo could all but feel Poe’s presence too well — coiled tight, conflicted, angry, hopeful, a maelstrom of emotions that even Kylo doubted he could keep up with. It was Poe, he knew even as the shorter man walked towards him. The way he was dressed...it was different than the pilot who he’d last seen on Tuanul.   
  
Tuanul. Even that knowledge...he had tried to argue around Poe’s interrogation (no, he corrected himself, torture. There was no sugarcoating it), and yet he felt like he could have done more. Like he could have simply left. Like he could have been stronger. He could feel Poe in the Force — still fundamentally bright, and yet...had he, in a way, left his taint over when he had reached into Poe’s mind? Had he...destroyed it?  
  
“You...came back,” Poe said. He sounded shocked, relieved, hurt — it was amazing how much one could get out of just three words.   
  
“I should have come back sooner,” Kylo said. “I thought...I thought there wasn’t a way out.”  
  
“How could you, Ben?”  
  
“I didn’t want to,” Kylo said. He couldn’t even flinch at being called “Ben” now, or anything like that. Because in a way, he’d earned it. Earned that pain, that sting. “Snoke...but I could have resisted him. I could have at least tried.”  
  
Not even that. What had Master Yoda said to his uncle (his wretched, despicable uncle, may he burn in a hell of his own making)? “Do or do not; there is no try”. He should have just not done it in the first place. Just left.   
  
Poe stared at him, almost like he was wondering what exactly to make of all this. Whether to condemn Kylo, or not.   
  
Kylo continued. “Everything else...there’s nothing to say except I regret doing it. Every part of it. What I did to Rey. What I did to my father. To my mother. I can’t describe what led me to leave. Besides Hux.”  
  
A furrow appeared between Poe’s eyes. “Besides Hux?”  
  
Kylo nodded. “I became Supreme Leader for a short time, but I wasn’t happy. I know what you’re thinking — ”  
  
“And I wish you didn’t,” Poe said curtly.   
  
“I know.” Poe didn’t forgive him for what happened on the _Finalizer._ Kylo supposed that he could live with that. He deserved that much, at least. “But even after what I earned, I wasn’t happy. I kept remembering my father. Rey. My mother. And you.”   
  
The way Poe looked — it was clear that of all things, he wasn’t expecting that.   
  
"I could have every planet in the galaxy bowing at my feet,” Kylo said. “Hailing Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. I could even go so far as to be Emperor of the galaxy. But it didn’t mean anything. The First Order saw what they wanted to see. Leader, warrior...rival, at least in Hux’s case. They saw what they wanted to see, and I couldn’t be that man. Not for them. And no one knew who I really was.”  
  
“There’s me,” Poe said. “I know you. I always have."   
  
Kylo swallowed. He could already feel how tight his throat really was. “Thank you.”  
  
Poe’s hand brushed against his cheek, hesitantly, along the line of his scar. The sheer tenderness in it — it was like Kylo knew in that moment that even if no one knew him — not even Rey — at least Poe did. At least Poe...but could he really, truly, love Kylo after all he’d done?   
  
***  
  
Adjusting to the Resistance was difficult. That Kylo couldn’t deny. Most of the Resistance just seemed flabbergasted that Kylo Ren could be the General’s son. (Then again, Kylo thought darkly, she probably wanted him brushed under the cargo ramp like Grandfather was, another dirty Leia Organa secret) Some who’d known him seemed disappointed — how did such a nice kid become Supreme Leader, even for a short time?  
  
They didn’t know yet. About the voices. About that feeling that he wasn’t good enough. Kylo supposed he’d tell them, bit by bit. It was the best he could do, amidst grudgingly training under his mother (he would have preferred anyone else, but he supposed that it was his leftover anger at how she had done nothing to help him coming to the surface again), helping Rey with whatever he could, helping the ex-stormtrooper (Finn. Kylo couldn’t help but think it was woefully uncreative on Poe’s part, but it was still noble of him) with his training as well...and catching up with Poe. He told him about Luke, among other things. He told Poe everything — about his past, and about what he knew now.   
  
Poe had cursed Luke out when Kylo had told him the truth. “That schutta was willing to bend over backwards for Vader, and yet he couldn’t be bothered to help you? How much of a kriffing hypocrite is he?”  
  
“Poe...” Kylo said. Somehow, he doubted he was worth this much outrage, this much protectiveness.   
  
Poe’s breathing was coming in shallow. “To think that I looked up to him as a kid,” Poe said. “Now I just want to put a blaster to his head.”  
  
“You don’t know what was in my head — ”  
  
“Bantha shit,” Poe snapped. “Having nightmares doesn’t make you a bad person.”  
  
“Am I a bar person now?”  
  
Poe sighed. “I just know that I can’t hate you. It would be easier to hate you if you were a complete stranger. But you aren’t. You’re...you. You’re Ben Solo. I know you.”  
  
Their fingers touched. Kylo could feel how close they were. With Rey, he had felt a kinship. He’d cared deeply about her, because she was as lonely as he was. This, though — his heart sped up, and he almost wanted to take Poe’s hand, even though he knew full well it was more than he deserved.  
  
***  
  
They had to embark on their journey to take down Hux eventually, as well as what lurked on Exegol — what Kylo felt, in his nightmares. And even meeting with Poe in his quarters, Kylo supposed it was better to tell him now than never.   
  
“I didn’t have you in the First Order,” Kylo said. “And I felt it, when I really thought about it. Without you, I was...lost. But here in the Resistance, when you’re with me...I’m home. We’re both home.”  
  
Poe nodded. “I felt the same.”  
  
“I didn’t tell you how proud I was that you became a General,” Kylo said. “You’ll go from a — ”  
  
“Spicerunner?”  
  
“Not even that,” Kylo said. “You’ll go from one of the greatest pilots the galaxy has ever known to the savior of our galaxy.”  
  
“So will you, you know. Supreme Leader to savior.” Poe bit his lip. “Ben...when I went to Tuanul, I wasn’t just looking for Luke. I was looking for you. Because I loved you, and...I still do.”  
  
He didn’t deserve this much. Poe was giving Kylo so much more than he deserved, and he swore that it would end him, how much Poe was really giving him.   
  
“So you were waiting,” he said. “Even after all this time, you were waiting.”  
  
“I was always waiting,” Poe said. “I was always waiting for you.”  
  
“If I knew you were waiting,” Kylo said. “I would have come home sooner.”  
  
 _Home._ That word stuck out in his mind even as Poe kissed him, like every semblance of waiting and need and adoration was all but built into Poe’s kiss. It was enough for Kylo just to want more of it, crave more of it, even as Poe’s fingers tangled in his hair, ran through it. As Kylo felt his body responding, his hips pressing against Poe’s own. He could just feel how desperate Poe was for him, how hard...how sensitive they both felt.  
  
Kylo broke the kiss just to beg to touch Poe, and Poe looked...well, stars, his eyes looked as dark as a night without stars, dilated.   
  
“Do it,” Poe murmured. “Anything...”  
  
Kylo freed Poe’s erection from his pants, Poe hissing in relief even as Kylo stroked and tugged and checked in on him, and judging by the praise and occasionally incoherent moans, Kylo was doing something right. He wasn’t inadequate.   
  
“You’re so beautiful,” Kylo murmured. “So strong. So _good._ I wish you could see yourself like I do. How bright...”  
  
He could feel Poe soaking it in. Reveling in it. Because somehow, he thought he wasn’t deserving of these compliments, even though they were nothing but the truth. Even though to Kylo, Poe was perfect. The man who saw the best in others who couldn’t see it in himself.  
  
Poe groaned softly. “Gods, I love your touch. I love you.”  
  
Kylo nodded. “I love you,” he said. “More than anything, Poe. More than I could ever, ever love myself.”  
  
He continued to stroke Poe off, ignoring his own throbbing erection — it seemed even the idea of giving Poe pleasure was enough to turn him on. Poe was so close to coming. His shallow breathing, his pleas, his promises of everything that Kylo was all but ready to accept. This was where he belonged. Always. Forever.   
  
Poe shuddered, trembled, before reaching climax, moaning Kylo’s name. And when he brought Kylo off with his hand, Kylo knew full well that he was Poe’s, and Poe was his.   
  
They lay there a while, both half-naked, snuggling close together. It was there that Poe said, “Would you come back with me, to Yavin, after the war’s over?”  
  
Kylo paused. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected that. To spend the rest of his life with Poe there, on Yavin, to be loved by him...  
  
“I would,” he said. In those words lay hope for something so much more than they were given. “If you want me to.”


End file.
